Politicians
would have us believe that gay marriage is a threat to straight marriage, to
families, to children, to civilization and should never be accepted. But how
many Aussies, straight and gay, agree with our leaders?
Surprisingly, there are many within the gay
community who condone the government’s actions, either because they agree with the
consensus, don’t want to mimic a heterosexual ceremony that celebrates domination
of Church over man, fear for their gay sexual freedom, or simply aren’t willing
to fight for their rights. The word “marriage” seems to stir up an array of
reactions as MBH (my better-half) and I found out while discussing the subject
with our gay friends in the lead up to our civil partnership ceremony.
“Why
not just draw up wills and leave marriage to heterosexuals?” one of our friends
suggested. Another brought up religion as a stumbling block. Few considered
that marriage could mean more to us than a contractual agreement. “While
marriage should include property or legal issues,” MBH and I agreed, “it should
also be about two people coming together, becoming family and having their
union recognised by society. Granting homosexuals the right to marry has
nothing to do with religion. It is ultimately about equal civil rights. Whether
you’re for or against it, shouldn’t everyone, gay or straight, be able to get
married if they choose to?”
And that’s the thing. There are almost 34,000
same-sex couples in Australia, many raising families, who don’t benefit from equal
civil rights. This number is most probably a huge underestimate given that many
gay couples choose not to be counted in the Census. So should these couples be
denied recognition and protection in health care, pensions and immigration
simply because they don’t fit into specific social roles, don’t procreate or are
considered immoral by certain religions?
Marriage is an institution that has changed with
the times. Nowadays, many straight couples opt to adopt over having children
the natural way. Some forgo church weddings in favour of civil ceremonies.
Others marry and divorce as many times as they like without anyone batting an
eyelid or questioning the sanctity of marriage. Children raised by gay parents
are no less well-adjusted than children brought up in a heterosexual
environment. And that’s because family isn’t just about biology. It’s about
building a life together, sharing memories, both good and bad, and facing
hardships together.
When MBH and I chose to get married, we wanted
everything that defines a family. We wanted our “unofficial” union to be made
“official. As the UK recognises same-sex
marriage and I am the holder of a British passport, we decided to seal the deal
at the British Consulate
General in Sydney. A few days before our commitment ceremony, we gathered
around a table of witnesses at the consulate, in front of a portrait of Her Majesty
Queen Elizabeth 2, to exchange our vows. Picture it, three queens cooped up in
a room the size of a goldfish bowl and everyone getting along!
Being
able to celebrate our love in front of family and friends and have our
partnership recognised by British law was a defining moment in my life and one
that I am very proud of. Everyone, whether gay or straight, should have the
right to experience a wedding. With sixty per cent of Australians on board with
same-sex marriage, why are our politicians so loath to support it? If other
countries can do it, so can we. And, believe me, the world will not come to a
grinding halt. So, let’s keep fighting the fight!
There’s
nothing wrong with having your cake and eating it, especially if it’s gay
wedding cake.
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