You may insist you’re
in your early thirties. I have for more than a decade, much to the amusement of
MBH (my better half), family and friends. However, the fire extinguisher I keep
at hand every time I blow out my birthday candles tells another story. Let’s
face it… escaping the effects of gravity is impossible unless you’re an
astronaut.
So, wouldn’t it be
great if we could dip into the fountain of youth and maintain a fresh
appearance as we got older! Just think about it, no more wrinkles and grey
hairs to cover up. No more fat fibs to tell. Plastic surgeons would be out of
business and everyone, whether gay or straight, male or female, would look
equally as fabulous on the day they shuffled off this mortal coil.
You see, I’ve always
thought it unfair how one sex is favoured over the other when it comes to
ageing. Consider the number of men who are labelled “distinguished” as they
move towards the autumn of their years. Women rarely benefit from the same
kindness. Gay men can relate to this injustice and are probably more empathetic
towards women than their straight counterparts, simply because of the nature of
gay culture which places so much emphasis on looks and youth.
Just flick through
any gay magazine featuring a tanned and chiselled Adonis on the cover and
you’ll know what I mean. It’s enough to make one sign up to Boot Camp or invest
in a hyperbaric chamber.
So should we give in
to Mother Nature’s vagaries and age gracefully or should we punch age in the
face by ingesting antioxidants and jumping on the treadmill? I believe finding
balance between the two options is the key. Personally, I like the idea of
ageing disgracefully and have always been up for a challenge. If Mother Nature
throws me lemons, I hurl them right back at her because I don’t do lemonade. I
will however give her kudos for her hearty sense of humour.
In our twenties, she
blesses us with a full head of hair and a body that requires little if no
manscaping, only to reverse everything when we reach middle age. As if touched
by a magic wand, we begin to lose our hair and see whiskers appear in unwanted
areas. Nostrils and ears go berserk, sprouting forth as if preparing for an
Arctic expedition. Eyebrows take on a life of their own and, before you know
it, you’re starring as a furball in Disney’s Fantasia.
Some men embrace
their un-tampered beauty and newfound werewolf status. Others run screaming to
the nearest spa or hair clinic where they undergo expensive treatments to
remove hair on one body part while promoting follicle regrowth on another. It’s
a lucrative business and, just in case you lose heart, a plethora of advertisers
out there will remind you that you are “worth it”.
It is easy to give in
to insecurity and obsess over one’s looks. We’ve all been there at one point or
another. What works for MBH and I is remembering that for every yin, there is a
yang. Grooming is necessary, however, we’re mindful not to spend more time in
the bathroom than our toothbrushes. Exercise is important to us, but we balance
it out with regular catch-ups with friends over a home-cooked meal and perhaps
a piece of rich, chocolate cake...or two.
Yes, ageing may not be for the faint-hearted,
but we’ve accepted it and enjoy every day as it comes. As famous French musical
comedy actor Maurice Chevalier once said, “Old age is not that bad when you
consider the alternative.” You’d be hard put to disagree…
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